Dangerous Games
by LL was Guest123
Summary: Their affair is becoming more dangerous. Or are they just getting less careful about hiding it? James knows it will only be a matter of time before someone finds out about them and then the spiral of events that could unfold might be unimaginable. Disclaimer: Do not own these characters, just borrowing!
1. Chapter 1

James Hathaway watched as she left the room, her hips moving elegantly from side to side in a hypnotising fashion. The way she had just given out at him and his boss should have made him angry, upset even, but it had done the complete opposite. He wanted her.

"Ay lad, don't let her catch you staring at her like that or she'll be back for round two and I don't know about you but I have heard enough from her for one day." Robbie exclaimed, clearly irritated about being told off like a naughty school child. "You definitely need to find yourself a woman, if you had one of your own it might stop you staring at every woman you come across, especially the married ones!" Robbie grinned at him and raised his eyebrows, the enjoyment from mocking his sergeant suddenly replacing the annoyance he had felt just moments before. To be honest, he didn't stay annoyed for long at all these days. Nothing or no one could bring him down from the cloud he found himself floating on morning, noon and night, the cloud that she had put him on just by being in his life. Her smile first thing in the morning and last thing at night was enough to make him unbelievably happy and not even the sharp tongue of DCS Innocent was enough to shake him from that happiness.

"I wasn't staring at her, I just didn't sleep too well, I'm tired that's all, it was an aimless stare at nothing in particular." James replied defensively. Robbie smiled again, "a woman I tell you, I'll give it some thought" he said as he picked up the car keys and left the room.

James leaned back in his chair and exhaled deeply. Damn, he was getting careless at hiding the way he felt about his boss, Robbie catching him like that was a near miss and how many of those could he afford before suspicions were raised. The situation was becoming harder each day. Since they had begun their affair things had become increasingly more dangerous. At the start they had established clear ground rules and agreed not to cross them, but slowly they started to bend each one, just slightly at first, but now... a quick fumble in her office after hours, gentle touches under the table when they were out for drinks or dinner with friends and he had even had to make a dash out of her back door as Richard Innocent was putting his key in the lock of the front door. He knew that they were on dangerous ground, both personally and professionally, but the way he felt about her, and the way she made him feel when they were together made it all worth it.

Rising from his chair, and shaking himself from his thoughts, he walked towards the door intending to continue with his part of the investigation, before changing his mind and walking back towards the office to find his boss.

"Come in" she said airily, "James, what can I do for you?" in a tone reminding him that she was so much better at being ever the professional than he ever would be. He closed the door behind him and assessed the situation, staring into the eyes which made his heart melt on a daily basis. Seeing her mood lighten a little, he decided he was safe to bring the conversation away from work for a moment or two. "Will I see you after work?" he uttered, lowering his voice. "Will there be an after work James? If we don't get some results soon the Chief Constable will be..." He had moved to the far side of her desk and before she could finish the sentence he placed his finger carefully on her lips to silence her. "Shhh, darling we will get to the bottom of it all this afternoon I'm certain of it, we have some new leads to follow up and I don't want to see you getting an ear bashing from your boss, anymore than Robbie wants to be getting one from his boss. Me on the other hand, I do find you rather sexy when you are angry." The way she raised her eyebrows at his last remark made his heart race and he couldn't help but lean down and kiss her. She indulged for a few seconds before pulling back and regaining her professional composure. "You solve this case James and yes, you can see me tonight. My husband is away overnight and so it could be fantastic for both of us. On the other hand it could be the longest most tedious night of work that we have had in a long time." He smiled at her "Now that's an incentive to solve a murder investigation quickly if ever I heard one."

"Hi ya pet, listen do you have those post mortem results handy? There's something I just wanna check." Laura Hobson loved hearing her man's northern voice at any time of the working day and she smiled into the phone as she replied. "I'm not in the lab right now Robbie, I'm actually upstairs looking for you, or James, but I seem to be out of luck. I'll try Jean, I was only going to pass on some..." She stopped mid-sentence as her eyes caught sight of something through the small gap in the blind of the window on which she was leaning against. "Robbie, I...I need to call you back" she said quietly.

to be continued...

This is my first Lewis Fanfic attempt, reviews would be great. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Laura Hobson moved backwards, secreting herself between the water cooler and the large plant which stood in the corridor, as James Hathaway exited the office and made his way towards the stairs. She couldn't quite believe what she had just seen, Jean and James of all people. She herself had had no idea, not an inkling, and she would usually have described herself as quite an astute character who didn't miss much that was going on around her. But what were they playing at? It could have been anyone standing beside that office. Yes, the blinds had been closed but clearly not well enough for the occupants of the office to be completely out of view. Laura was surprised at Jean, so much was at stake - her marriage, her career, her reputation. She took a few moments to sip on a cup of ice cold water from the cooler whilst she collected her thoughts. Could she just pretend she hadn't seen? Her own relationship with Jean had never been a smooth one, at times she felt like they were friends, even good friends, but at other times Jean clearly regarded her as no more than a work colleague to discuss a case with. Since Laura and Robbie had moved on from being friends things had seemed a little easier when they were all together for a drink after work, but Jean Innocent was anything but predictable in her behaviour. Then there was James. Laura felt very protective of James, almost motherly sometimes, and she knew that Robbie had become very fond of him over the years. She knew that neither she nor Robbie would want to see him get hurt. Acting almost on impulse, Laura turned and approached the door of the office.

"Come in" was the clipped reply to Laura's confident knock on the office door and she entered, smiling at DCS Innocent breezily. "Hello Doctor, what can I help you with?" Jean asked, again making Laura feel like an almost stranger.

"Well, two things really" Laura answered, "firstly I came to give this to Robbie or James but I see neither of them are around so I thought I'd give it to you." She handed over a piece of paper and a close up photograph of the fatal injury inflicted on their latest victim. "It might not be any help but I know the boys are struggling with this one and so I thought I would try to be as proactive as possible with help on a possible murder weapon."

"Ahh, playing the detective as well as the doctor now I see. Is this a result of spending too much time with a certain detective, or perhaps a desire to hurry things along so that a certain detective isn't working all night tonight?" Jean's mood had clearly lightened and Laura took the opportunity to come right out and say what she had decided she had no option but to discuss. "Jean, I don't think I'm the only one who would have a better night tonight if the boys wrap this case up in the next few hours. I think you and I would both benefit from Robbie and James being free to spend the evening with the people they love." She saw the look on her friend's face change as she hurried with the words, not giving herself time to think or regret the decision to admit what she knew. At first Jean looked shocked, then worried, and was now trying to compose herself in order to come up with some kind of response to Laura's sudden outburst. "Do I take it that was the second thing you came in to discuss Dr Hobson?" This was the best she could do for something to say and Laura knew that the use of her more formal title meant that she was not best pleased being challenged in this way. "Yes...yes it was" was Laura's reply, putting the ball firmly back in Jean's court. "I see, may I ask what it is that has given you that opinion?" Jean said, clearly a little nervous about where this was heading, but confident as ever to hold her own in a difficult situation. "I saw you" Laura said quietly, "in here, together, not ten minutes ago, and what you were doing wasn't exactly conducive to solving a crime." Jean glanced sideways, checking for a way that they could possibly have been spotted and spying the two small gaps in the blinds she sighed and turned back towards Laura. "What do you want me to say Laura?" she said calmly. "There's no point in me trying to deny it. I'm not ashamed of what I'm doing, I know it isn't ideal but I can't change the way I feel."

Laura slid into the chair opposite Jean and looked across at her. "It is just such a huge thing to be doing though isn't it, this isn't just about your career, or your marriage, or your family, it's all of it – you could lose everything." Her tone had softened and the concern in her voice was now very evident to Jean, who for the first time felt that Laura may keep her secret. "Even if I lost everything, I would still have James" she said. Laura looked at the woman sat across the table and could see a look in her eyes which told her that this wasn't just a fling for Jean. She knew what was at stake and was willing to risk everything.

After a few moments of thoughtful contemplation it was Jean who broke the silence. "May I ask what you are going to do with this information, now that we've been careless enough to hand it to you?" Laura looked hurt by the way the question had been phrased. "Well I'm not going to make things difficult for you if that's what you're asking. James is a friend and I like to think that we might be friends too Jean." With a look of relief and a slight pang of guilt for the way she had questioned Laura, Jean leaned back in the chair. "I'm sorry, like you said, there is a lot at stake here and I guess I'm not ready to have to deal with it quite yet. You coming in here like that just shocked me and I... well..." she trailed off and Laura smiled with empathy before rising from the chair. "Look, if you want to talk about it you know where I am, I need to be getting back." She turned and made towards the door before glancing back and adding "and I hope the boys wrap things up quickly... for both our sakes." Jean managed a small smile as she watched the doctor leave the office, closing the door quietly as she did. Maybe things would be alright after all, Laura, she hoped, would keep her new found knowledge to herself and it might actually be nice to have someone to talk to when she was feeling stressed out about the whole thing. Yes, she told herself, someone knowing is actually a good thing – and as long as it stays at only the one person everything will be fine!

Doctor Laura Hobson made her way back to the mortuary, the conversation that had just taken place racing around in her mind. She thought about Jean and the look on her face when she had admitted it would be worth losing everything just to have James. She thought about James and wondered if he realised the enormity of what he was doing and if he was quite as committed as Jean. Then she thought about Robbie, her Robbie – caught in the middle if this did all end in disaster. She started to worry, for Robbie and for herself, as well as for James and Jean. One thing was for sure, she would have to discuss it with Robbie. Although she had told Jean that she wouldn't make things difficult, she and Robbie didn't have secrets. She loved him. She had waited years for him to be ready to love her back and now that he did things were perfect. She couldn't risk that happiness and if Robbie ever found out that she had kept this from him that was exactly what she would be doing. No, as soon as Robbie solved this case she would tell him what she had seen.

Reviews please!


	3. Chapter 3

Laura didn't have to wait long. A breakthrough that afternoon meant that an arrest had been made by the end of the day and once the loose ends had been tied up and the necessary paperwork submitted, Robbie was free to go home to the woman in his life. He tucked into the meal which she had lovingly prepared, knowing that he hadn't had much time to eat anything at all over the last few busy working days. They ate relatively silently but Lewis raised his head to find Laura gazing across at him, a somewhat troubled expression on her face. "Everything alright love?" his question being all she needed to begin the discussion that she had been thinking about all afternoon. "Sort of" she replied "but I do need to talk to you about something."

Jean climbed into the passenger seat of the car which was parked at the side of the road a few streets from the station. This was their usual routine, not wanting to risk anyone at work seeing them leave together, or for her car to be seen at his place. She had been distracted ever since Laura left her office, only the positive result from the investigation cheering her mood slightly. "I can't wait to get you home." James announced, driving purposefully towards his flat. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that kiss at lunchtime. I'm surprised we were able to make an arrest at all." Jean turned in her seat to face him slightly. "James, about that kiss," she began hesitantly, "we were seen, today, in the office, there was a gap in the blind and well..." James glanced across at her anxiously. "I see" he replied quietly "who?" She breathed out deeply "well it could have been a lot worse than it was, it was Laura, she had come up to find you or Robbie about the post mortem and she just happened to stop next to the office to take a phone call. "Oh...well... like you said, could have been worse. What did she say? Is she going to say anything?" "She was a bit shocked I think, and worried about what could happen if it all...well, you know... but no, I don't think she is. I think we can trust her."

"Hang on, so let me get this right – James and Jean, as in my young 'dishy in your words' sergeant and our married boss? An affair?" Robbie had finished eating and was staring at Laura across the table in disbelief. He couldn't believe what she was telling him, but when she told him what she had seen, and that she had confronted Innocent herself, there seemingly could be no doubt. "What on earth are they playing at man?" he asked out loud, not really aiming his question at anyone. Laura shook her head in answer anyway. "I don't know Robbie, but she seems to know what she's doing. Says if she loses everything else she'll still have him. What I don't know is if he feels the same. If when it comes down to it he really is willing to lose everything for her." Robbie shook his head, "he has women looking at him every time we walk into the canteen, he could choose any one of them, why did he have to get involved with her?" he asked. "I don't know, but I think one of us needs to talk to him, give him a chance to get out before things get out of hand." Laura said sensibly. "And if he doesn't want to get out?" the look of concern on Robbie's face reminded Laura that he cared a lot about the welfare of his young sergeant and she smiled at him knowingly. "We can only make sure that he has thought it through, that he does know what the consequences are and then, if he doesn't want to walk away, then we have to accept that it's his decision, his life." She walked around the table and put her hands on Robbie's shoulders. He shook his head, "I don't know if I can accept it though." His words were trimmed with disappointment in what his friend was doing. "Look, Robbie, I know how you feel and their situation is less than ideal for any of us, but if things had been different for us, if our relationship would have been against police rules, knowing how happy you make me, I wouldn't have listened to anyone telling me to walk away because of the possible consequences." He reached up and squeezed the hand that was resting on his shoulder. "That's a lovely thing to say, Pet, but there is also the issue of one of them being married." Laura placed a kiss on the top of Robbie's head. "You were married" she replied "and if at any point you had presented me with an opportunity to act on how I was feeling about you, I don't think I would have been able to put the feelings of your wife first." Robbie turned his head and Laura saw a surprised, almost shocked, expression on his face. "You felt like this about me when I was married?" he questioned. "Robbie, I felt like this about you pretty much as soon as I met you" was her reply. "I knew there was nothing I could do about it because you were married, and although I say now that I would have definitely considered an affair, I certainly wasn't going to try and instigate one. Then after Val died, well... you just needed a friend." He pulled her down on to his lap and wrapped his arms around her tightly, whispering into her ear. "Well now I want more than a friend. I want a lover, a confident, someone to wake up to every morning, to kiss goodnight before I go to sleep, to stroll around holding hands with so that the world can see how lucky I am, and so much more." His words made her heart race. "And..." he continued, "if you have truly been waiting for me that long, have put your life on hold for me, then I am going to have my work cut out trying to make that lost time up to you." He smiled and pulled her towards him, kissing her passionately. "Come on, let's stop thinking about their relationship and concentrate on our own, we can speak to James tomorrow." He stood up and led Laura out of the room to somewhere they could begin making up for lost time.

"I'll talk to her, tomorrow." Jean was lying with her head on his chest, her body curled into his and the sheet lying idly over them. His arms wrapped around her protectively, James could tell that her anxiousness, caused by the day's events, had returned. "Oh James, why could it not just have been simple for us?" she sighed. "Why do I have to be your boss? Why do we have to be in a job with so many bloody rules? Why do I have to be married to a cheating idiot who couldn't care less about me? And...why do we have to want each other so much?" The last of those questions made James sit up, moving his lover from her comfortable position against him. "You would rather we weren't in this situation?" his reply came in a voice that clearly showed she had hurt him. "You would rather not 'want me' so much? You want to go back to before all this started because it was simpler?" He turned his head away from her, suddenly not wanting to catch her eye, almost not wanting to hear her reply. "That's not what I meant darling, it's just... well, when we are racing back here, desperate just to get to bed and be with each other like tonight, it's like there's nothing and no one else in the world. For those hours everything is perfect and wonderful, but it isn't the reality is it? Everything is so much more complicated than that." She reached out to try to touch him but got no response. "Jean are you saying it's too complicated? Are you trying to tell me that you don't want me anymore?" he turned now to look at her, his questions seeming to hang in the air as she sighed before replying. "No James, I'm definitely not saying that. I couldn't give up on this, on us, even if I wanted to. I am in love with you and even if I lose everything else in the world, as long as I still have you I will be happy. That's exactly what I told Laura today." He pulled her close, the relief in his body language evident. "You said that?" he asked happily, the joy at hearing those words barely containable. "Yes, and I meant it, but I don't know if I can let you lose everything for me. I mean, I'm so much older than you, I come with more baggage than an airline and when you could have your pick of women, James, why would you want to?" He smiled broadly and looked deep into her eyes; holding his hand under her chin so that she was forced to hold his gaze until he had finished speaking. "Because," he started "you are the most incredible, funny, smart, wonderful, beautiful, sexy and all round gorgeous woman that I have ever laid eyes on. If you lined up every woman on this planet and let me choose, I would search the whole line until I found you. I know, that you are the only person I will ever love, because this feeling I have when I'm with you can never be beaten. And that's why...that's why I have made a decision." He paused briefly looking nervous about what he was about to say. "I am going to leave the police, leave the job, I can't risk your career, you've invested so much in it. It's the only thing to do."

To be continued. Reviews for this chapter would be great!


	4. Chapter 4

Robbie squeezed Laura's arm as the two separated and made their way into work the following morning. He loved the feeling of having somebody to miss during the long working hours, somebody he knew would be thinking of him, someone who would count down the hours until they were together again just like he did. Today, however, he felt troubled. He knew he had to try to speak to James about Laura's revelation the previous night, but he still couldn't quite get his head around the whole thing. Jean and James... it just didn't quite make sense. Why hadn't he noticed? He worked with them every day, had there not been signs? James was already at his desk when Robbie walked in and was his useful early morning cheerful self. "Morning Sir" he exclaimed with a smile. "James" was Robbie's less cheerful response. The morning passed quickly as there was much paperwork to be done following the case that had been wrapped up the previous day. Robbie asked James if he fancied lunch at the pub, his treat, and James seemed happy to accept. As they sat sipping happily on their pints of beer, Robbie knew that he had to bring up the subject of the affair but had no idea how he was going to do it, so he found himself making small talk for a good half hour before he finally found an inroad in to the conversation when James recieved a text. After reading it, he felt he needed to make some comment about it's content. "Just Innocent sir, she was asking..." but before he could complete the sentence, Robbie cut him off. "You don't have to make up excuses as to why the boss is texting you, Lad. Laura told me," he blurted out, looking seriously at James, who sighed quietly and sat back in his chair. "Oh, did she," he said hesitantly, not knowing quite what else to say. "Yes and I have to say I was quite shocked, we both were. I mean, Jean Innocent, of all people you could be... I mean, do you really know what you're doing lad, she's hardly your age, she's married with a kid nearly your age, is it really worth it?" his barrage of questions making it quite obvious that he didn't approve. "I didn't think I would ever feel love, sir. Then this thing started and I knew that it didn't matter what else happened to me, as long as I had her, and so yes sir... it is worth it, it's very much worth it. Now if you'll excuse me..." he rose from his chair and left the pub, leaving Robbie to sigh heavily and shake his head sadly before following.

"Come in," Jean's professional voice made his heart flip as he opened the door of her office and entered, closing it carefully behind him. She smiled warmly as she saw it was him. "I'm not here for anything," he announced, I just wanted to see you." She smiled again, "well, that's nice darling, but is everything ok? You do look a little troubled." She narrowed her eyes at him and he sighed, "you know me too well" he replied and she smiled at the small compliment. "Laura spoke to Robbie and I've just had the '_are you mad?' l_ecture. He obviously doesn't approve of what we're doing, but it's not for him to approve is it? It isn't about anyone else, it's about us." She glanced around before reaching her hand across and talking his, rubbing her thumb against his hand gently. "We should have known that Laura would speak to him, they won't have secrets will they, she wouldn't have been able to keep something like this from him. He'll just be shocked by it that's all, he cares about you James. He won't want to see you hurt and I'm hardly what he would want for you am I? It's me he'll be thinking badly of, even if I am his boss, he'll be cursing me for dragging you into this mess." "Hey, this is not a mess," he replied defensively, "what we have is not a mess, I love you and I told him that, this is not your doing, we both know what we're doing and we both want to be doing it. Other people just need to mind their own business." His words were stern and she laughed at his seriousness. "Oh James, let's just keep telling ourselves everything will be fine," she said hopefully. "I'll speak to Robbie, I think I need to. You didn't tell him about your ludicrous idea to resign though did you?" James shook his head, "but it isn't ludicrous, I'm thinking about it, I think it may be the best option." She shook her head sadly, "let's see shall we, no decisions at the moment hey."

Later that day, Jean was given the perfect opportunity to speak to Lewis alone, as she caught him at the water cooler outside her office. "Have you got a minute Robbie?" she asked, turning back towards her office. He hadn't really wanted to have to have this conversation. She was his boss after all, saying what he felt would verge on speaking out of turn to his superior officer. "Ma'am" he replied hesitantly before following her into the office.

"Look, Robbie, I don't really know how to start this conversation, I mean, it's hardly work related really and... well... look I know you're worried about James and I do understand and..." "It's really none of my business Ma'am," Lewis interrupted, "but you're right, I am worried about the lad. He's young and has his whole career ahead, and as for your career..." She looked across at him, "I know all that Robbie, we both know all that. I don't want to ruin his career but I love him, it's happened and there's nothing we can do about it now. The situation isn't ideal but me and James are. I don't want to be without him and yes I have to leave my husband, explain to my son and probably lose my job but I knew all of that was a possibility when I started playing this game. Yet it's not a game now Robbie. He makes me happy and I'm pretty sure I make him happy too. I know you probably think I'm too old for him as well but..."

Robbie shifted uncomfortably; he couldn't believe he was having this conversation with his boss. "Look, Ma'am, as I said it really is none of my business. I've spoken to James and he's made that quite clear too. I won't say anything to anyone about this, and if you're sure you know what you're doing, then..." his sentence trailed off and Jean smiled at him. "Thank you Robbie."

He turned and left the office, as he walked back along the corridor he couldn't help but think that this situation could only get worse for all concerned.

_To be continued... Reviews would be lovely. Thank you. _


	5. Chapter 5

James walked into Jean's office two weeks later clutching an envelope. She could tell immediately from the look on his face that something was wrong. "Don't try to talk me out of this Ma'am, this is my resignation letter. I'm leaving the police, it was never something I was destined to do, I can manage without it... I can't manage without you." Jean sighed deeply, "we need to talk about this James, you can't just walk in here and do this now." He pushed the letter across the desk towards her. "Yes, I can and this is the best way. No amount of talking will dissuade me from this. I have thought about it a lot. I can't be your lover and your sergeant, your career is at risk every day we carry this on. If you decide you don't want me anymore then I would have to leave anyway. I couldn't stay here seeing you everyday if that happened, so whatever happens from now on, I can't work here." A single tear escaped from Jean's eye and she quickly brushed it away with her hand. "James I..." but there were no words she couldn't think of any. The man standing in front of her was willing to give up everything to make her happy. Jean nodded slowly and lifted the letter from her desk. "Thank you Ma'am" James said softly. "No, thank you James" she replied catching him in a gaze that she hoped made him realise just how much she was thanking him for, even though right now she couldn't speak.

Robbie's first reaction was anger. He had expected nothing less, was worried about telling him at all really. After a slam of the door James was left alone with his thoughts, wondering when Robbie might return to finish the conversation. James knew that this was the right decision. He knew that many people would disagree with what he was doing, but then they didn't feel how he felt. Robbie would calm down.

Laura knew that something was wrong as soon as Robbie appeared at the window of the mortuary that afternoon. Luckily she was having a quiet day at work and could easily slip out for a drink and a chat that she could tell was much needed. As Robbie explained about the big announcement James had made, Laura squeezed his hand and looked sympathetically into his eyes. She knew that Robbie was hurt by the decision, he would miss James terribly. She would too if she was being honest. "He's a grown man Robbie, he has to make his own decisions, whether we think they are right or wrong. He clearly loves Jean and this is the only way he can see to make things easier for them." Robbie finished his pint of beer before answering. "Is this going to get him what he wants though? Is this going to happen and he finds she then can't leave her husband? Is he certain that if he gives up everything he won't end up with nothing?" Laura smiled gently and reached up to stroke his cheek. "Robbie, nobody can be sure of anything really. When you love someone you are willing to take risks. I was willing to risk being stuck in this same job, in this same city on my own for the rest of my life. That was a big risk... my risk paid off. You care about James and you have to be there for him. Tell him you support him, that you'll miss him – of course you will – but that you'll always be his friend." Robbie sighed. She was right, she always knew what to say, she always had. Laura had got him through the hard times after Val with her words and advice. "I love you" he said quietly. "I love you too – and I'd risk everything for you" she replied lovingly.

"Sir I..." James began as Robbie walked into the office later that day. "Don't lad," Robbie interrupted, "I shouldn't have reacted like that. I just hate to see you chucking everything away and well... I... well... I'll miss having you around. That doesn't mean I don't want to see you happy. If this is what you want then I'm pleased for you. I hope we can still be friends." James smiled and looked affectionately at his boss. "Always sir, and thank you, that means a lot."

James left the station later that day and just happened to run into Laura Hobson outside. He knew that Robbie's sudden change of heart had not happened by itself, Laura would have had a lot to do with the supportive conversation that had taken place. "I wanted to say thank you," he said quietly. "For what?" He laughed. "You know what for. You're good for him and he needs you." She smiled. "He cares about you James; all of his reactions are because of that." Laura squeezed his arm and headed inside to find Robbie.

To be continued... reviews always welcome!


	6. Chapter 6

Two months later, on a lovely summer evening, James Hathaway found himself getting dressed in the small bedroom of his flat. He was no longer a member of Oxford police but was working happily in the University theology department which kept him occupied and kept the bills paid. Just ten days before, Robbie had surprised everyone by proposing to Laura, she had of course said 'yes' almost before he had finished the question and so tonight they were holding an engagement party in a hall down by the river. Even though he and Jean still couldn't be a couple in public as she was still with her husband, James very much looked forward to spending the evening with her and loved every opportunity to spend time with the woman he loved.

Jean had told James she would meet him at the party, conscious of work colleagues becoming suspicious if they arrived together, so James found himself waiting eagerly at the bar turning his head towards the door every time it opened. "I'm sure she'll be here soon" said a small voice behind him.

"Hi Laura" James replied smiling. "Is it that obvious that I'm pining for her?"

"Just a bit, but it's sweet really. It is nice to see you happy James."

"Well I didn't think we'd see this day where _you_ were so happy" James replied.

"I was beginning to give up myself" Laura laughed, "but I'm glad I waited. I've never felt so happy."

"You wouldn't have given up on him Laura. You have been crazy about him for so long, no-one else was going to match up. I know that feeling, that's why I know that giving up wasn't ever an option for you...not really. You wouldn't have given up anymore than I would have, Jean is just..." James stopped mid-sentence, his expression changing from one of happy, light heartedness to utter devastation.

Laura turned quickly to look towards where his gaze had taken him. She couldn't believe her eyes. Jean Innocent had entered the room, looking more stunning than Laura had ever seen her. She was wearing a black satin, figure hugging dress which sat just above her knees. Her black heels, jewellery and clutch bag accessorized it perfectly. The only one thing that wasn't right was the sight of Richard Innocent by her side.

"Oh James" Laura muttered quietly, "what the hell is he doing here?"

James couldn't speak. The sight of the woman he loved, the woman who made his heart race with a single glance, standing next to '_him'_ was almost too much to deal with. He turned his head away and took a large drink from the pint of beer in front of him.

Robbie suddenly appeared next to Laura. "What on earth is he doing here?" he asked, echoing Laura's sentiments.

"I don't know" she replied, "but we had better go and say hello."

The two of them made their way over to where Jean was standing next to her husband, looking very uncomfortable as if she would rather be anywhere else on earth but in that room. "Jean, Richard thanks for coming" Laura said, somewhat unconvincingly, trying to subtly make eye contact with Jean in order to find out what exactly was going on.

Jean could do nothing but smile weakly as her husband congratulated the happy couple. She glanced over in the direction of the bar but James was looking away. This was killing her.

"Shall we get a drink darling?" Richard asked smiling. He took his wife by the hand and began making his way towards the bar... and James.

"That bastard spends most of his life in other people's beds. Yet tonight he has the time to turn up here and pretend to be a doting husband. And what's with the hand holding and 'darling'?" Robbie asked angrily.

Laura shook her head. "I don't know but something tells me this isn't going to end well."

"Yeh well this is our night so he better not spoil it," Robbie replied.

James turned his head just in time to see Richard Innocent, just a few feet away, wrapping his arms around his wife's waist as they waited for the barman to take their drinks order. At that moment he knew that his heart was actually breaking. He knew that for the past few months he had been sharing her with this man, but never had it been so obvious to him. Never had he had to witness that sharing. Jean caught his eye and a look passed between them that broke his heart once more. James stood up and walked towards the door, he could hardly breathe. He just about made it outside before the tears came. He turned the corner of the building, leaned against the wall and sobbed quietly.

_To be continued – reviews would be lovely_


	7. Chapter 7

"James," Laura's voice was soft and concerned, she placed her hand on his arm and squeezed it gently.

"I'm fine Laura, go back in and enjoy your party. I'll be back in soon," he replied, trying to sound cheerful and hold back the tears.

"You're not fine James, nobody would expect you to be in that situation. I can't believe she let him come with her, what was she thinking?"

James turned his head away from her slightly. He didn't want to talk about it, it hurt so much.

"Richard, why are you doing this?" Jean whispered frostily. "You can barely even look at me when we are at home, you certainly never touch me in any way so what is with the insistence on accompanying me to a party with my work collegues, who you loathe? And why do you keep holding on to me?"

"As far as I remember Jean, you are my wife. That means we do things like go to parties and hold hands." Richard snapped back.

"Yes but we don't do we... at least we haven't for a long, long time. So why now, why tonight?"

He smiled at her, a smile that made her feel uneasy. Where was James? She had watched the door since he left through it but he hadn't returned. Laura had gone out after him and hadn't come back either. What must they be thinking of her? She couldn't believe this was happening.

"Do you really want to know why I'm here Jean?" he whispered, leaning towards her so that his lips were very close to her ear. "I wanted to see who he is. This man who has you acting like you're a teenager again. The man who has you dressing like a movie star. I presume he is here somewhere, watching us."

Jean's heart was beating fast, out of her chest. "I need some air," she said.

Laura could see Jean Innocent walking towards them but James had his back to her. As he heard her footsteps approach he glanced around and she could see that he was crying. If her heart had not been aching enough, it was now crushed. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone and to see him hurting like this was too much for her.

"Laura, do you mind giving us a few minutes?" she asked quietly.

"James?" Laura looked up at him sympathetically.

"Yes, it's fine Laura. You go back in and find Robbie, enjoy your party. This won't take long, I'll come and find you inside."

The way he had said 'this won't take long' sent another searing pain through Jean. His voice was harsh and uncaring. Laura walked away and left the two of them alone.

"Look James, I'm sorry, I've messed up. I should have thought about what this would do to you, it's just he turned up and announced he wanted to come with me and well, I didn't know what to do or say."

"You could have told me, phoned or something."

"I tried James but you didn't answer the call and I didn't have time to do anything else. I know us walking in like that was awful for you and I'm sorry, but I love you with all my heart and I really don't want to see you hurting." Jean reached out to touch his arm but he moved away. "Oh darling please don't do that. You don't know how much it hurts me to have you do that." She brushed a tear from her cheek.

"You were holding his hand, standing next to me while he wrapped his arms around you. I had to watch him kissing your hair like I love to do. How was I supposed to feel?"

"I know all that James and I'm sorry. Like I said I messed up, I shouldn't have let that happen, I just panicked when he said he was coming with me. I didn't think for a moment that he would behave like that. Look - he's here because he knows I'm seeing someone else anyway, so maybe the time has come just to tell him. We were waiting for the dust to settle after you left work but maybe it's settled enough. All I know is that I can't lose you James. You are my world, I love you so much. Please look at me; I really need you to hold me right now."

James turned his head and caught her eye. The look that passed between them showing that things only hurt this bad when things really mattered, and he knew that she mattered more than anything ever had before. He reached his arms out and wrapped them around her, pulling her to him and holding her tightly. She buried her face in his chest and held him tight.

"I love you more than anything Jean, but I can't share you anymore. I need to be with you, I need people to know that you're mine."

"I know," she said, looking up into his eyes and running her fingers through his hair. "I want to be with you too and I promise we will be together now and I'll be the proudest woman on earth."

As he leaned down to kiss her and they both became swept away in the moment, a voice from behind startled them. "Oh bloody hell Jean, your sergeant – this is what you're risking our marriage on." Richard Innocent looked angry but also slightly amused by the situation in front of him. "Well maybe you've proved your point, got me back for the times I've cheated on you, so maybe we should call it quits now. Come back indoors with me before you make a show of all of us."

"Richard, this isn't about getting you back. Our marriage was over a long time ago, you made sure of that. I'm not coming back inside with you, in fact I'm not coming anywhere with you. I'm leaving you, I love James and I want to be with him." She was shaking with the emotion of the past few hours and James took her hand to calm her.

Richard began to realise that this might be more of a serious situation than he had initially thought. He had felt that the change in his wife was to make a point, to get his attention but she seemed prepared to take it further than that, to leave him altogether. Yes, he had had affairs, been with a few other women, but he always came home to her. He never felt seriously enough about any of them to actually think about giving up on his marriage.

"She is my wife" he aimed his words at James, his tone now becoming more angry. "You can't just expect me to give her over to you. You'll only mess her about anyway, give it a month or so and someone prettier and more your age will come along. Then where will she be?"

His words and total disregard for his wife sparked an anger in James like he had never felt before. "How dare you even suggest that I have so little love and respect for her that I would let that happen. I love your wife more than I ever thought it would be possible to love anyone. I will never leave her, never treat her in the way that you have." He pulled Jean towards him again, holding her tightly in his arms.

"There's no way I'm letting you do this." Richard said angrily.

"I don't see you have a choice," James replied.

"That's what you think."

_Reviews always welcome, thanks._


	8. Chapter 8

James turned his attentions to Jean, "you go back inside baby, I'll come and join you in a few minutes. Let me handle this, it's too much for you to deal with right now, it's been an emotional few hours." He brushed a tear away from her cheek and kissed the top of her head softly.

"So caring" Richard scoffed in a mocking tone, "but for how long Jean? Like I said, do you really think you are going to be enough for him? You're hardly in the prime of life dear are you?"

"Go inside" James repeated looking at her with pleading eyes. The anger building up inside him because of this man's words was increasing, and the fact that the woman he loved was having to listen to such hurtful comments was making it worse. "I promise I won't be long."

Jean nodded reluctantly and slipped out of his arms. "It would be much easier for everyone if you'd just go Richard," she said before making her way back towards the building. Part of her was worried about leaving the two men alone, but James was right, she couldn't take much more tonight. She also felt bad for Laura and Robbie. This was their night and so far neither her nor James had contributed in any positive way towards the celebrations. Her first concern had been that a physical fight could break out, but she had quickly dismissed that knowing that James wasn't the fighting sort and that he would definitely know that fighting would upset her more. No, she trusted James and knew that he would be able to sort things out, just temporarily until she could think clearly about how to move on without Richard in her life. There was so much to think about, the house and who lived where, and Chris – there was Chris to think about. The thought of him made her feel sick, what would he think of his parent's marriage ending after all this time? What would he make of her relationship with James? Would he forgive her?

She headed straight to the bar and ordered a brandy. She didn't often drink spirits but this was definitely a time when she needed to. A small crowd from work beckoned her towards them and she was forced to put on the perfect poker face as smiling happily she joined them and their conversation.

Outside in the car park, James was trying to talk rationally to Richard. "I don't know what to say, I'm sorry this has happened and I know the way you found out may not have been perfect, but you and I both know that your marriage was over long before I came along."

"And what would you know about marriage, mine or otherwise?" Richard bit back.

"Enough to know that if you loved your wife, anywhere near as much as I do, then you wouldn't have been sleeping with other women. I also know that despite that, somewhere inside you is the remnants of a decent person who doesn't want to see her unhappy. I make her happy Richard, I'm sorry about that but it's true. I will never leave her, never hurt her and no matter what you do or say now that won't change. I will fight you every step of the way if you try to make things difficult for us."

"You're right, I don't want to see her unhappy, which is why I won't stand by and watch you have your fun with her and then cast her aside when you've had enough."

"That's never going to happen, like I said I love her, more than you could possibly imagine and I would do anything for her and that will never change. Now listen, I have a proposition for you."

Jean anxiously watched the door, not taking in any of the conversation around her. "Hey, are you ok?" Laura asked quietly.

"I really don't know," Jean answered honestly, "I've told Richard about James and me, they're outside talking now."

"Ouch. Is that a good idea? Should I send Robbie out?" Laura looked worried and this set Jean's mind racing again.

"I just can't handle it tonight Laura, too many emotions. I think James will sort it out; he really does want what's best for me. We'll give him a few more minutes." Laura squeezed her arm sympathetically before heading off in Robbie's direction. Jean watched as the tiny blonde woman wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. Robbie grinned back at her with such happiness and adoration in his eyes. They looked so happy and care free. Jean knew that it hadn't been an easy ride for them either. Laura had been so patient, more patient than most women on earth would have been, but everyone who knew them knew that this was just proof of the boundless love she had for him. You only had to look at them together to know that they were made for each other and would spend the rest of their days making each other happy. Laura pulled him onto the dance floor and Jean watched for the next two minutes as they swayed to the music, Robbie leaning down several times to kiss his beautiful fiancée.

"I feel like the luckiest man alive right now Laura," Robbie whispered in her ear.

"I should hope so," she giggled back, "I feel pretty on top of the world myself, here surrounded by our family and friends, dancing in your arms. I don't think it gets much more perfect."

"Oh it does, I promise to make life more and more perfect for you from now on. Starting with our wedding day, I can't wait, I know you will look as stunning as ever."

"Flatterer" she grinned up at him, kissed him lovingly and then pulled him closer so that her head was resting on his chest. She sighed contentedly before noticing Jean watching them. The anxious woman tried to force a smile, but it was just that – forced. As the song ended, Laura looked up at Robbie once more. "Go and ask Jean to dance with you," she urged. "James is outside trying to persuade Richard to leave quietly and Jean is struggling to hold it together over there. She is in here putting a brave face on because it's our night and she cares about us. Go and take her mind off it, she looks like she could do with some friendly arms around her."

Robbie smiled at Laura. "You're wonderful you know that?"

"Hmmm, yes, but I don't mind you telling me as often as you like!"

Robbie left her and walked over to where Jean was standing. "Come and dance with me Ma'am" he said insistently, taking her arm before she could tell him that she really didn't feel like dancing or doing anything else for that matter. He pulled her towards the dance floor and placed his hands lightly on her back. She held on to his arms tightly. "It'll all be alright you know," he said reassuringly, "It might not seem like it now but things will work out in the end."

She sighed deeply, "Oh Robbie, am I doing the right thing? I mean I love James with all my heart, I really do, and the thought of being without him terrifies me. When he was angry and upset with me earlier it hurt so much I could hardly breathe, but am I the right person for him? He could do so much better than me, he could have someone so much younger and without any of these complications."

"Jean, if there is one thing I have come to realise over the last few weeks it's that the man loves you more than he ever thought it would be possible to love anybody. He has given up so much for you because he can't face life without you. He's outside now, sorting things out with Richard so that you can be happy. There's no way he's ever going to look at another woman, you're everything to him."

She smiled weakly.

"He's right you know," the familiar voice behind her made her turn quickly and the sight of James' adorable smile made her heart flip.

"May I?" he asked Robbie.

"Of course you can lad, she's all yours."

"She sure is," James replied happily, taking Jean in his arms.

As Robbie left them alone on the dance floor, Jean looked up at him, the look of concern still evident on her face.

"It's fine baby, I told you I would sort it and I have. We'll talk later, we can sort everything out and make plans, but for now I just want you to be happy and forget about everything."

They continued to dance to the music, holding each other as close as possible without attracting too much attention. They stayed like that for what seemed like ages, just being happy to have finally opened the door to a future together.

"James, will you kiss me?"

"Are you sure about that? There are a lot of people from work here, you will have to endure an awful lot of talk and sideways glances on Monday."

"I don't care. You don't work for me anymore and nobody can ever prove that this was going on whilst you did. I don't mind a bit of gossip; I'm just desperate for you to kiss me and for people to see you do it. I need to feel loved and wanted right now." She looked up at him longingly and he smiled down at her, moving his hand up to tangle in her hair and pulling her towards him, kissing her with a passion that she had never experienced with him before. He kept kissing her until they had no choice but to come up for air and she looked at him with the best smile he had seen from her in ages.

He held her tightly and cast his eyes across the room to where he could see many of his ex work colleagues staring at them in disbelief. He kissed her hair and breathed in the scent of her. Things were going to be ok. He knew that they would be as long as they were together. He would make sure she was happy and that nobody had chance to hurt her ever again, however he also knew that Richard Innocent wouldn't make that task easy for him over the next few weeks.

Reviews would again be lovely, thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

"You are sure about this, about us I mean?" Jean asked, a short time later as they were sat at a table in the corner of the hall.

"Of course I am. I have never felt so sure about anything and I have never felt so happy. You're not doubting me are you? This isn't about what he said earlier is it? Don't let him make you feel like that Jean, I love you and I will carry on loving you until the day I die. I will never leave you and I will never want anyone else. How can I convince you of that?"

The way he looked at her, with all consuming love in his eyes, should have been enough to convince her and it almost was. Yet there was still something in the back of her mind that was a niggling doubt. Maybe because she felt that this was all too good to be true. He was young, he was gorgeous, he had women everywhere swooning and throwing themselves at his feet, why on earth would he choose to settle with her?

"Stop it, stop thinking about it. We are going to be together now, it's what we've wanted for a long time and it's going to be perfect. You are the only woman I will ever want, so stop worrying." He smiled at her and squeezed her hand across the table.

"James... how did you...? I mean, when I left you Richard didn't look like he was just going to give up and go home so..."

"Shhh," James placed his finger carefully on her lips, "let's just enjoy tonight and we'll talk about him tomorrow. You don't need to worry about anything at all right now. He's gone and we are together, that's all that's important. And right now I want us to go over to that bar, get another drink and then go and speak to some of your colleagues over there. They haven't been able to stop staring at us since that kiss earlier so let's have some fun and see what they've got to say!"

Jean smiled at him and nodded, loving the way he could always make her feel so good, no matter how bad things seemed. He took her by the hand and led her over to the bar, ordering them both a glass of champagne. As the barman handed them their glasses James turned her into his arms. "Let's drink to the first day of the rest of our lives," he beamed happily.

"You don't know how happy that makes me," she replied.

"Come on then, let's see what people have got to say about the boss and her former sergeant making out on the dance floor!" he said playfully.

Jean giggled, "you make me sound like a teenager James, and I'm certainly not one of those!"

"You have the energy of a teenager. I hope you'll be proving that to me in a few hours when I get you home!"

She raised her eyebrows at him, "what do you have in mind Mr Hathaway?" she murmured seductively.

"You know very well what I have in mind Mrs Innocent. I've only had one thing in my mind since I first caught sight of you in that dress earlier this evening. I was devastated when I thought I might not be the one taking it off you." He looked momentarily hurt again as he had earlier in the evening and she felt a pang of reoccurring guilt because of what she had put him through.

"I can't wait for you to take it off me," she whispered, trying to distract him. "Now let's go and see what the gossips are saying!"

They walked hand in hand over to where a group of Jean's underlings and James' former colleagues were chatting happily. James held tightly onto her hand as they joined in the existing conversation. A few people smiled at them knowingly but none were brave enough to be the first to mention anything about this obvious new romance.

It wasn't until Jean excused herself to go to the bathroom a short while later that the questions and comments started flowing.

"_Well James, you are a dark horse aren't you! When did all this happen?"_

"_We thought you resigned in a bit of a hurry, it is all becoming a bit clearer now."_

"_Heartthrob Hathaway and the Chief Super, who'd have thought it!"_

"_Come on then James, spill the beans. How did this happen?"_

James smiled and laughed happily. "Nothing happened while we were still working together," he said seriously, "but I knew I wanted it to... that's why I resigned. We are very happy and I know some of you are shocked but there you are."

Jean returned to the group just as James was finishing his statement and she couldn't help but smile at the pride in his voice. He was so happy to be telling people that they were together and they were happy and she felt elated that he was finally able to be honest and open about it. She slipped her arm round his back and gently rested her hand on his hip, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"So now you know everything there is to know" she said smiling wickedly, knowing full well that they weren't as comfortable talking to her about her private life as they had been to James.

"_We're pleased for you Ma'am."_

James smiled down at her and kissed the top of her head gently.

The evening continued in a whirl of happiness for Jean, she hadn't felt this loved and wanted for a very long time and James revelled in the fact that he was finally allowed to partake in public displays of affection. By the end of the evening he couldn't leave her alone, something which didn't go unnoticed by Laura.

"You need to take him home," she laughed, trying to have a conversation with Jean as James ran his hand down her back, letting it rest on her ass, rubbing it gently as Jean took hold of his wrist and moved it to somewhere more appropriate.

Jean smiled but raised her eyebrows at James before turning back to Laura. Secretly she loved the way he couldn't keep his hands off her, it just reminded her how much he wanted her, how much he had given up and how great their future was going to be.

She said goodbye to Laura and led James over to where Robbie was standing to say goodnight to him too.

"Look after her now lad," Robbie said smiling at them with what could only be described as a father like expression.

"Don't you worry about that," he replied, "she will always be taken care of now."

Jean left with James through the same door that only a few hours she had entered through with a different man. She was the same person and only a short time had passed, but so much had changed. As they walked down along the river path James wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulder and pulled her close to him.

"Let me take you home and show you just how much I love you" he whispered, "and then tomorrow we can face everything else."

"That sounds good," she sighed happily, "look James, I'm sorry again about tonight, I really didn't want to hurt you, I never..."

"None of that matters now, we never need to hurt each other again. Things are out in the open now and we can be together." He pulled her towards him and kissed her passionately. "Let's get home before I end up getting carried away out here with the possibility of someone walking by and seeing us." He took her hand and led her down the path towards his flat.

Tomorrow was another day, there was hours between now and then, hours to spend indulging in being alone with the woman he loved. But tomorrow James knew he was going to have to face up to the bargain he had made with Richard Innocent. The bargain that had been made in order to ease things for the love of his life, and he would have done anything in order to stop her hurting for just a few hours. He was so worried about her husband making a scene and embarrassing her in front of her friends and colleagues he would have done anything to prevent her from that.

Yes, tomorrow was another day.

_Reviews welcome as always!_


	10. Chapter 10

"You told him what?" Jean said quietly, a look on her face that made James' heart beat faster, and not in a good way.

"Look, baby, last night... at that stage things were just horrible. The look on your face was breaking my heart. He was ready to go back inside and humiliate you in front of everyone. I just needed him to go home, to cool off. I needed it to just be you and me so that I could make sure you were alright."

Jean pulled her hand away from his and stood up, pacing the room and biting on her lip, he could tell she was trying not to cry.

"It's just a few hours Jean, a few hours and this will all be over. Tomorrow, you will go to work, I will meet you for lunch and we can start making plans for the rest of our life."

She stopped and looked at him before replying, the frustration in her voice obvious. "You make it sound so simple James. This isn't a soap opera you know; it isn't just one thing one day and a different thing the next. This is complicated... too complicated."

He looked wounded and lowered his head, staring at the floor. "I love you."

"Oh James, please. You know I'm not questioning that, or saying that I don't love you. It isn't even about me spending the evening with Richard. Sometimes I just worry that you're... so young... and that this is all going to get too much for you. I can't help thinking that one day the reality of this situation is going to hit you and that everything is going to come crashing down around me."

"That isn't fair," James replied, his voice getting louder and the hurt in it becoming more obvious. "I can't help how old I am but I won't let you say that I don't understand the reality of things. I would never let you throw your marriage away if I thought that this was an adolescent whim. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, being the person who makes you happy, I thought you accepted that and felt that way too. I have given up my career so that we can have a future. I haven't done that without understanding the reality."

Jean sat down on the chair on the other side of the room and put her head in her hands. "I just don't know what to think or what to do," she murmured. "Why would you agree to me spending a whole evening with Richard, with him trying to win me back, the promise that I would stay in the house overnight, surely that is the last thing you want to think of me doing."

James looked across at her. "You need to talk to him; there are loose ends to be tied up. I just hope that if you really love me... well then it should take more than an attempt at a romantic meal and some persuasive words on his behalf to spoil that." As she looked back at him, she could see the doubt hiding behind his eyes and she smiled weakly. "Look, he was happy with one evening of your time, one more night of you sleeping under the same roof, in return for not humiliating you last night. He seems confident that when he gets you alone he can convince you to try again, and I think you just need to hear what he has to say before turning your back on 25 years of marriage. I need you to do what is right for you. I love you so much, that even if it meant letting you go I would do anything for you to be happy. I just hope it won't come to that, I hope that tomorrow I can pick you up for lunch and begin to show you just how wonderful I can make life for you."

"And what if I just don't go?"

"I want you to go. I gave him my word so I really hope you'll do this for me."

Jean sighed and nodded slowly.

James smiled back at her. His life had changed so much in the last few months, he had never thought it was possible to feel such extreme emotions all within such a small space of time. He knew he had never felt happier, but also he had never felt more hurt, scared, sad and nervous, all at different times, for different reasons, all because of this wonderful woman in front of him who he knew he would happily die for. She couldn't be more wrong about him not understanding the reality of what they were doing. He understood how much was at stake and he knew that whatever happened he would never ever stop loving her. All that he could do now was hope that the bargain he had made with Richard Innocent wouldn't make his own life come crashing down around him.

_Reviews would be great... thanks!_


	11. Chapter 11

Jean rang the doorbell. She didn't know why. It had been her home for the last twenty five years but all of a sudden, just overnight, it didn't feel like that anymore. She had contemplated not turning up at all. That had been her decision more than once during the day, but James had been so insistent that she went and gave Richard the chance to speak to her one last time before the separation was final. She really didn't understand James sometimes, yes she loved him, she really did, but sometimes he did things that reminded her just how young he was. It wasn't just his age; she also worried about his lack of experience when it came to love. He told her he loved her all the time, but was he really sure that what he felt for her actually was love? What had he got to compare it to? The sound of footsteps from behind the door shook her from her contemplations and again the nerves in the pit of her stomach took over. Richard Innocent, the man that she knew better than any other person on earth, the man that she had once loved more than any other person on earth, stood in front of her smiling nervously.

"You didn't need to knock Jean, this is your house," he said leaning towards her, attempting to kiss her cheek but missing as she leant backwards to avoid his touch. She followed him into the house where the smell of cooking invaded her senses. Her eyes were met with the sight of a candlelit table complete with fresh pink roses in the centre. "Your favourites," he said proudly, seeing her looking at the flowers.

"Look Richard I..."

"Don't say anything yet Jean, please," he began "let's just have a glass of wine and something to eat. There's plenty of time for talking." He pulled the chair out for her and she sat down. Her mind drifted to the last time she could remember him being so attentive, pulling the chair out, buying her flowers. The last time she could recall must have been at least five years ago - their twentieth wedding anniversary. He had cooked for her then and had bought her the same pink flowers as well as a pretty bracelet that she had loved. How things had changed. How had they got from that day, where she remembered being happy, to where they were today? Sitting at this same table felt so very different now.

James hadn't wanted to go to Robbie and Laura's but Robbie had insisted. He had asked to meet Robbie for a drink at the Trout; an idea that he had decided was preferable to drinking himself into oblivion alone at home. He knew that talking to Robbie might help him to get through this excruciating evening in one piece. Robbie had known something was wrong and hadn't hesitated in agreeing to his request, despite being tired from the excitement of his celebrations the previous evening. It had taken him almost half an hour to drag the whole story out of James and when he heard it he couldn't believe his ears. He hadn't held back in telling James that he thought he was an idiot for encouraging Jean to go, neither had he spared his young friend's feelings when telling him that he was 'too ethical' for his own good, as James explained how he had given Richard Innocent his word. Despite this initial reaction, he had gone on to try to reassure James that Jean loved him and would not be swayed by a few carefully chosen words from her love-rat of a husband. He had insisted that James should not be heading home to an empty flat to wallow, knowing that Laura would be much better than he was at trying to say the right thing in a situation like this. So reluctantly, James agreed and now found himself sat in an armchair in Laura's beautiful old Oxford house, which had recently become Robbie's home also, while they relayed the whole story to a sympathetic Laura.

James had always loved Laura. Not in any romantic way, but he loved her kindness and patience, the way she always knew exactly what to do and say in any situation. She had been a saint waiting for Robbie to get his head together, but when she had her mind set on something she wasn't one to give up. James admired this about her and even though he hadn't been at all sure about returning to the house with Robbie, he now felt pleased that he had.

"She loves you James. You have to trust that she'll do the right thing, but she needs to make a clean break from Richard in order for the two of you to ever be happy. She knows how you feel and what you've given up for her. True happiness comes with a lot of patience and a fair amount of heartache... I can testify to that," she smiled at Robbie sweetly and he looked back at her lovingly. James noticed how happy and at ease they looked together now. After years of being the third person in their awkward games, they had made it. He knew that him and Jean were close to making it too, but somewhere deep inside him was the nagging doubt that they were actually going to get there at all.

Jean had noticed that Richard Innocent had already opened the second bottle of wine. He had been refilling her glass throughout the meal and although she was trying to keep a clear head, nerves were forcing her to drink. They had talked about lots of things while they ate the steak dinner he had prepared for her, topics including their son and his blossoming police career, her parents, his bridge club to name but a few, but they hadn't yet mentioned their marriage or her affair with James Hathaway.

As Richard cleared the plates into the kitchen, Jean took her wine and moved into the living room. Within minutes Richard joined her with the bottle in one hand and his own glass in the other. Placing the bottle down, he paused briefly to switch on some music, Jean feeling uncomfortable as slow, romantic music filled the room. She exhaled deeply. "Richard, I think we've probably danced around the real reason why we're here for long enough tonight."

He looked across at her, trying to make eye contact, but she looked down at her glass. "We're here because we've been married for over twenty five years Jean. We've both made mistakes in that time, me more than you I know that, but most of that time has been good, really good, and I don't think we should just throw that away without trying."

The honesty in his voice filled her with a sadness that she never thought she would feel again where he was concerned. All the times, all the years, she had hoped he would say these things and be like this with her again, but the time never came, and now suddenly... suddenly she felt sorry for him.

_To be continued... reviews gratefully received _


	12. Chapter 12

"I waited years to hear you say that our marriage was important enough to you to want to save Richard, but that time never came." She drank her wine and looked into the glass to avoid looking at her husband. She must have been staring down for some time because she didn't notice him stand and cross the room. Suddenly he was beside her, trying to take her hand in his.

"I'm sorry for that Jean, I'm sorry we let things get so bad, but like I said earlier we can try again, things can be better this time."

Jean pulled her hand away and leaned backwards in order to put more distance between them, but she was trapped in the chair and he reached up and stroked his hand across her cheek. She closed her eyes.

When they watched as James left the house later that evening, Laura sighed and leaned back in Robbie's arms.

"Please say she's not going to hurt him," she exclaimed sadly, "he really has given up so much and his life is only about her now. If she reconciles with Richard now it will destroy him."

Robbie led her back inside and pulled her down on to the settee beside him. He wrapped his arms around him and smiled lovingly at her. "I know. We said all of this back when we found out what was going on. I had an uneasy feeling about it all then and now I feel even worse. I'm not sure she is ready to turn her back on 25 years of marriage. I just hope I'm wrong and that she really does love James more than anything or anyone."

"I hope so too Robbie, I tried hard to sound convincing when I was talking to James but the fact that Jean has gone back there tonight at all just fills me with doubt. I wish I could have spoken to her, if I'd have known what she was planning I'd have tried to talk her out of it."

Robbie pulled her closer towards him and kissed her. "All we can do is to be there for him if he needs us to be," he replied. "You were wonderful at that tonight; you always know just what to say." He began to kiss his way down her neck and she wrapped her arms tightly round him, smiling at the attention she was getting.

"Yes, well I care about him a great deal, as I know you do. I'll do whatever I can to make things better for him."

"Hmmm," he murmured as his hands began running over her body and his kisses became more urgent, "well right now you could make things better for me by stopping with the talk and joining in. I'm trying to seduce you here and at the moment it's very one-sided!"

Laura giggled and did as she was told.

Jean felt Richard's lips touch hers and her heartbeat increased until she felt it nearly coming out of her chest. She didn't know why, maybe it was the amount of wine she'd had, but she placed her hand on his back and let the kiss happen. Suddenly, a surge of thoughts and feelings raced through her. She thought about her wedding day, how happy she had been, the birth of her son, how happy she and Richard had been when they first brought Chris home and all the happy times they had shared as he was growing up. Then she thought of the hurt, the first time that she suspected Richard of having an affair, the times after that when she more than suspected, when she knew that he was with someone else. The times when he didn't even bother to try to hide it, it had been too much effort for him to wipe away the lipstick marks, to wash away the smell of someone else's perfume. Then she thought of James.

He didn't know why he didn't go straight home. Maybe it was the amount he'd had to drink, the doubts that were now consuming him from the inside out or maybe something else was luring him on that dark, depressing night, but after walking around for a very long time, James found himself on the street where the love of his life had lived with her husband for the last 25 years. He stopped at the corner of the road and smoked a cigarette. As he looked down the street he could see a light coming from the house and despite his head trying to tell him to go home, to sleep and to trust her to come back to him, he couldn't resist the desire to walk past just once. As he approached his heart began to beat faster. He would hate her to think he was spying on her, or that he didn't trust her. As he found himself right outside the house he turned his head and caught sight of the back of Richard Innocent. He was kneeling on the floor in front of Jean. Her hand was on his shoulder and they were kissing. James froze, his heart breaking even more than it had the previous evening when his eyes had been met with the same two people. This was it, the moment he had dreaded more than anything, ever. He had lost her. He turned and walked away, heading for... he didn't know where, just somewhere where he couldn't be hurt anymore than he was already hurting.

Suddenly, Jean's eyes snapped open. The thought of James had brought her to her senses. This kiss wasn't right, it wasn't James, she loved James. Yes, she'd waited a long time for this moment, for her husband to tell her that he loved her and that he was sorry and wanted to put things right, but that was before she had fallen in love with James. He was the only one she wanted now; this kiss didn't make her feel anything. She pushed Richard away and stood up.

"No," she began, "I don't want this Richard. I'm sorry, I really am, but I don't love you anymore. I'm in love with James and I can't change that, I don't want to."

She didn't even wait for a reply, she had never been more sure of anything, ever. She flew out of the room and out of the front door, barely hearing as Richard tried to call her back. As she reached the street she began to hurry in the direction of James' flat. Had she been thinking sensibly she would have scolded herself for walking alone after dark, but all sensible thoughts had left her head. As she turned the corner she saw a familiar figure slightly up ahead of her. Confused, she stopped and looked again to check that it was who she thought, but there was no mistake.

"James?"

Upon hearing her familiar voice he span round and saw her face break into an enormous smile as she raced towards him. It was only when she got closer that she could see he was crying.

"James, what are you... why are you...?" suddenly it all fell into place in her head. Why he was near the house, what he must have seen, why he was crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you," she began, flinging her arms around his neck and reaching up to kiss him desperately. "I love you James, this is it now, you and me together and nothing will stop us now baby, nothing can get in our way, please James."

_Reviews welcome as always!_


End file.
